Saturday, January 07, 2006

gods of the elevator lobby

i'm sure that in our ever expanding pantheon of hindu gods and godesses we could squeeze in enough shelf space for a few of these guys. the esteemed entities i refer to here are none other than the almighty lift operators at the sbi head office.

no smirks please. if you've ever seen them at work you'll agree that these are not ordinary sentient humanoids but rather a little more like mischevious sprites. they lord it over on their turf, which is spread over two lobbies in the building, and their weapons of choice travel through the twelve elevator shafts in this very abode.

now you might think, that for a building that has twenty floors and maybe houses two thousand people during the average working day, it would be sufficient to have twelve elevators catering to these needs. if you haven't seen these guys at work, then we'll forgive you your folly of assumption.

to add anger to misery there's a board on display at the lobby on which you can track the movements of all the lifts. this is a very helpful tool since it helps you appreciate the beauty of synchronisation. i kid you not, all the elevators display a solidarity that would put our communist trade union leaders in the shadow. they all travel in the same direction together at the same time.

so if you are waiting for a lift to carry you to one of the top floors and are on the point of praying fervently for one to at least look like its coming down, thats when you'll see all the elevators going up together(it's not that difficult to imagine them doing this hand in hand). then they'll all come down in sync with each other. they'll also make it a point to stop on each floor in the interim.

akin to rubbing salt in fresh wounds, when they do come down to the ground floor you'll be spoilt for choice. thats of course when the operator chooses to let you access the lifts. they have a lock and key system for each of their pets. he can thus turn a key and make your visit to the lobby that much longer. when the guy feels benevolent enough, he'll turn the key yet again and revel in the rush of the crowd to the transport that he has so graciously deigned to open to the public.

then of course you can hear the cruel, evil god laughing in your head when the elevator then stops at every floor along the way. at this point you could be forgiven for wanting to kill the daftoids who get off at the first floor. hello! if you're going to spend so much time waiting for the god-damned thing when all you need to do is go to the first floor, why will you not take the stairs? i want to understand this rationale.

since i dont usually visit temples unless obligated to, i extend the logic to these deities too. i usually take the stairs. since my desk resides on the third floor, this means a four storey climb every day(also counting the mezzanine floor between ground and first).since this is all the exercise i get on an average day, i also give thanks to these gods in the lobby with their powerful machines for doing their part in keeping me a little more active than i would normally be.

1 comment:

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