Sunday, January 15, 2006

cellphone invaders

if you can get by, for even a week, without an intrusion on your privacy by the ubiquitous call centre sales teams then do let me know how you manage it. i find myself bombarded by these callers every other day, they sound pretty anxious to give me various loans, credit cards, and other such goodies. invariably its from some bank or financial institution so i guess i must feel good about the fact that at least these guys consider me a good credit risk, which frankly wasnt the case even a year ago. but i could really do without all the attention.

initially, i did get pretty worked up whenever i got calls like this. but now i've decided to use them as de-stressers. i happily agree to subscribe to whatever service they want me to utilise, then give them a fictional identity and address to contact. i did this last week with some of these callers and they're still out on the streets looking for buildings that don't exist.

yes, i agree that it might be inhuman to have the poor guys who're actually doing the legwork run around in the hot sun, but hey, i'm only retaliating with my own brand of firepower in the cellphone wars. i'm just hoping that after sending enough guys on runarounds i'll get knocked off some of these databases that call centres probably maintain. if they do that because i'm a loony liar thats just as good a reason as any, as far as i'm concerned. if its any consolation to these guys, i'll have them know that they havent been the only people to have branded me such.

it works better for me cause i've threatened and abused demanding to be struck off these lists to no avail. of course, i wont deny that i have an unnecessarily idiotic streak. i extend this logic to hapless folks who make the mistake of dialling the wrong number and in the process reach me.

i pretend to be the person who they're looking for and continue the conversation till such a time as i'm found out. only recently, i received a call from a chap who wanted to order some furniture. i went to the extent of taking down the specified dimensions he needed and even gave him an expected date of delivery in addition to bargaining a fair price for the deal and also settled on a 30% advance commission.

i'd recommend these methods personally. the plus points are that theres absolutely no negative fallout, since termination is completely in your control. its totally amazing as a relaxation technique. and of course, you get to be a little bit of an actor, play different roles, characters, people and gauge how convincing you can be.


Carolyn said...

LOL...I used to tell the telemarketers that I was a 7 year old kid, then I would start asking all sorts of personal questions until they hung up...think I must've gotten some kind of notation on my file, as I rarely get telemarketing calls anymore. And yep, same Carolyn, different blogger account. :)

De Spe said...

loony liar !!
tht was a damn good piece of work. i enjoyed myself thoroughly and yr mad stories are such a relief in this real-mad world.
don change. for the world.

Wafa said...

Hello? Wadala Police Station?